ABDABS

 I dreaded the day you’ve come,

Bringing your bright smiles in a bun

Holding me like a long lost friend of yours

Your touch made my heart missed a beat or more.

I dreaded the day you’ve held me,

Like I was something yours to be

Why didn’t I think about it all from then on,

The sparks did not excite, it burned all along

I dreaded the day you’ve held my hand,

It felt like I was already yours, ready to brand

Somehow my blood felt alive when I’m with you

Trying, my soul dismissed what I felt for us two

I dreaded the day you kissed me back,

My soul took it hard and was blown from the attack

I held on a little bit in my mind for sanity

But I totally lost it, you were otherworldly.

You’ve made me yours, all yours

And I knew I could be this enamored

So when you asked me why I do love you,

A million things to say in my mind I knew

But my mouth won’t let me speak at all

I wasn’t ready to hear it from myself and fall

I don’t want to feel jealous when she holds you

But it’s something I don’t want you to know

I don’t want to feel pain when I know she kisses you at night

But it’s something I don’t have a right

I don’t want the torture of time, waiting 

But time was only what we have, our only something

I don’t want you going home at night,

But I cannot hold you forever in my sight.

So whenever she touches you, know that I am jealous

When she kisses you, know that I am envious

I’ve always said I was fine and all,

As whatever lifetimes, with you I’d want to fall

Fall beside you as we talked about life

Talk about whatever sexuality is and right

Argue on deep things as we bare our souls

Talk as if the world never existed at all

You draw me as if my soul walked lifetimes with you,

But I don’t know if I should push through

You asked me to leave, and walk away

And it crushed me a lot to say “Okay”

So watch me stay, impatient as I am

Watch me love you, from the scene behind

And whenever you cease to see motivation and drive,

Remember me, someone who holds you as my dear life.